Interview with a Sword-spirit

[Ahriman Jones]

Greetings to all of you well established members of the Tarot court. Today I have a treat for all of you. I was fortunate enough to convince the Three of Swords to give us a moment of his time for an interview, as well as questions from the audience. Thank you for joining us, Three

Tch, not a problem. I was bored anyway. Hiya folks.

First question, I suppose, is how long you've been with your current wielder.

I think I've been with Jones for about five, six years now.

Why have you remained with Jones all this time, even past the length of your original contract?

Because it's so funny watching this freak screw up! Let me tell you, when Jones fucks up, he fucks up Spec-tacularly! Lord, the kid can't even make dinner without opening some wormhole to an alternate dimension or freeing some beast beyond human comprehension! All he can do is walk from one disaster to another. It's like watching Larry, Curly and Moe meets Cthuhlu! Fun for the entire family, too.

That it's?

I may have... other motivations, but they're none of your goddamn business, ass-diver!

Erm, right. What do you do in your spare time?

Hang in Jones' pocket, mostly. He lets me watch T.V in exchange for a little silence. I like The A-team, The Dukes of Hazzard, South Park, and that show with the purple cat. You know, that weird fuckin' show they used to have. Eeek the Cat or somethin'. I also write poetry now and then.

You... write poetry?

Yes, I write eloquint poetry, you have a problem with that poon-sucker?

I'm sorry, it just seems rather rediculous what with your lack of hands...

Rediculous?! You think it's fucking REDICULOUS?! Listen to this haiku, and then tell me that! Ahem...

My interviewer
is so goddamn stupid
Stab priss face

[glow=red,2,300]GLurkrkkkkkk![/glow]

Seeing as the moron who started this is now drowing in a pool of his own blood, let's have some questions. C'mon, ask me something you stupid fucktards!

OOC: Feel free to Ask Three anything. I do not garentee he will not stab you in your priss face.

[EthanStarr]

Calling in from the safety of his Madison Avenue office, Ethan Starr asks,

"What impact did Jones have on your existence? What were you doing before the two of you met, and how have things changed, not merely for you but for Jones, as well, since the day he made his pact with you? And why the Three of Swords? Why not a terrible two-hundred tentacled kraken, or a gargantuan dragon with flesh of steel?"

[Zoralee]

Three of Swords, I was wondering why you chose to partner with Jones in the first place? What do you get out of the deal? And why chose a tarot card?

[Ahriman Jones]

ethanstarr said:

Calling in from the safety of his Madison Avenue office, Ethan Starr asks,

"What impact did Jones have on your existence? What were you doing before the two of you met, and how have things changed, not merely for you but for Jones, as well, since the day he made his pact with you? And why the Three of Swords? Why not a terrible two-hundred tentacled kraken, or a gargantuan dragon with flesh of steel?"

What impact? Well, for one thing he made my life a hell of a lot more entertaining. My existence before being summoned by Jones was pretty boring. All I did was follow the orders of the King of Swords as he wheeled and dealed for more influence in the Tarot Courts.

Y'see, most spirits in the Astral plane have a rather complicated system of command. Simplified, it's Big Spirits command Small Spirits, I suppose. At the time, I was a pretty small spirit, so everyone was bossin' me around. Sure, occasionally they had me kill something, but between murders I was really bored, or irritated with pointless tasks.

Then, Jones summoned me, looking for a short-term magical weapon for a raid on a Technocrat base. He promised me some Magical energies, and all the violence and death I could handle.

Honestly, who could resist an offer like that? I liked what was going on so much, in fact, I decided to stick around. I haven't looked back, even after the unpleasentness in the Cave.

Not to many things have changed. Jones has gained a lot of patience since meeting me, considering that I rightly point out his stupidities. I think he keeps me around because the people close to him have a habit of... well, dying. Or at least being horribly maimed.
I stick around because it's fun, and that I've gained a lot of power just hanging with him. I'm am a representation of Conflict, after all, and Jones always has that in spades. If I ever left Jones' services and headed back to the Tarot Courts, things will be very different.

Jones also tells me that I didn't have much of a personality the first few years. I guess that's because I never really left the Tarot Courts before then. I'm more worldly now. And if I do get to watch any A-Team for more then a month, I get these awful shakes...

Why the Three of Swords? 'Cause I'm a fuckin' THREE OF SWORDS SPIRIT! Christ, what the hell is wrong with you? Somebody change this guy's "Stupid" tank, it's all filled up!

[spicymchaggis]

If you were a flower, what would you be?

[Ahriman Jones]

The one in your hair as the big guy nails you.

[EthanStarr]

Ha ha ha. Gay question gets a gay answer, I suppose!

But more seriously, Three, you have an abrasive demeanor and a very sharp tongue, ha ha, pardon the pun. Why is this? Did Jones mistreat you as a young spirit? Were you abused when you were a...whatever spirits are when they just come into existence?