Post by Dakota Bishop on Sept 28, 2010 17:39:15 GMT -5
Dear Diary,
Man, I feel like such a geek writing that. Not that it really matters. You're a diary, and that’s what I'm going to call you. I'll be damned if I give you some kind of name. Then I'll feel even more crazy.
The councilor at school told my mom that it would be a good idea if I kept a journal, but I knew what it meant. A diary. No one remembers a journal. Like that Anne Frank chick. It was a diary, remember? No shame there, but then she was a chick. I'm a guy. I guess that’s the difference.
Anyway, I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. If for some reason this is ever read by people 50 years from now after some crazy war, I guess they'll want to know who I am and shit. Plus, if I write about myself, the councilor says I might figure some things out about myself. Look, buddy, I think I'd be the one knowing about myself here, right? Right.
So, my name's Lance. I've gotta write in this damned thing because I don't have any friends. That's the long and short of it, anyway. Doc says I'm anti-social, but thats not the truth. The truth is, I tried to make friends, back when I was a freshman. People made fun of me, and I don't forget things like that. Once bitten, twice shy, y'know? Besides, they are all just a bunch of preppy pop-icon wanna-be's anyway. No soul there, just a bunch of designer clothes over moving parts.
And besides, they are wrong about me not having friends. I have a job at the zoo. You're going to think I'm crazy, but a lot of the animals are my friend. They don't talk to me or anything, but I feel like they understand me. Wolves don't judge you by what you wear, right? They can see through all that false stuff. Its the same way with all animals. They can see right in your soul. One time, I actually sneaked into the bears den, and just watched them sleep. One of them woke up, and I kinda smiled at it, y'know, real nervous and stuff, and I swear it winked at me and went back to sleep!
Now you're sure I'm crazy, right? Well, tough. You're my diary, and if I have to put up with this stupid crap, then I'm taking you down with me.
On the bright side, though, I turn 18 in a couple of weeks. Doesn't mean too much. Got no friends for a party, and I don't really care for all the noise. I'm more of an outdoors person, really, which doesn't fit Chicago very much, huh? That’s the reason I work at the zoo so much...its the only wilderness I can find for a long ways away. Before we lived here...I mean, before I had to move in with my Mom, I lived with my Dad back in Nebraska. We were all back in the woods for miles...I really miss that. I had a pet, a dog; Bear. I miss him, y'know?
Hell, look at all this crap. I've been writing for like an hour now. I didn't think I'd write that much. I'll be damned if it’s working, whatever it is. I don't feel any different, anyway.
Sincerly,
Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
Don’t' let anyone fool you, man; high school sucks. I had the worst day of my life today. I mean it just completely blew monkey chunks! Of all the days in all the world of all of my life, this is going to go down in the history books as the worst one. Ever!
So last year I got creamed in gym, right? I was a real shrimp, skinny and all that with glasses and all. I got picked on a lot because I didn't talk to anyone and blah blah blah. Bunch of losers anyway, not like I want to be accepted by them. Anyway, I get a job last summer at the zoo, and the scrawny part goes away. I mean, between you and me, elephant shit doesn't move itself, and I'll tell you first hand, that stuff ain't light.
So the job gives me some extra cash, and I get rid of my goggles and get contacts, just because I want them. I'm not trying to fit in or anything, alright? I just wanted contacts. So, anyway, I failed gym that year because I stopped participating in class, and so this year I have to take it again. I'm not too worried, though, because I'm actually kinda cut and I got a nice tan from the summer job, so I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, y'know? I can have a chance to put those numbskulls in their place, and show'em that you don't have to be perfect to dribble a ball and put it in a hoop. It started off right enough, but it all went wrong, man. Wrong wrong wrong.
There's this girl. Her name is Cara. Man, she's really amazing, too. Smart, and nice, and she's beautiful, too. Just perfect. So, anyway, she's in my gym class, and there I am playing basket ball with the other guys. I'm skins, and I look good, man, I'm one of the only cats there with abs that you can actually see. And I know she's watching us play, cause she has an excuse to sit out.
I'm not that good at basketball, but I try like hell to impress her. I pass the ball, I steal the thing, I know people over...whatever I have to do. It’s looking good, right, but then her boyfriend starts getting jealous and shit. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend, the fucker. So he's playing on the shirts, and he see's how I'm always looking at her to see if she's watching, and so he just tackles me. Dirty son of a bitch, cause I'm not even expecting it, and before I know it I'm on my back and he's just beating the hell out of me, and he's just knocking me senseless, man, and she's watching the entire time.
The worst part? He's on the football team, and he's popular as all hell, so if I try to get him back, I'm just going to get it worse. It's already going to be bad now, and I guess I don't need to make it worse. It's not fair! She deserves a lot better than that spoiled prick, with his rich parents and name brand cloths.
Yeah, so today sucked balls. Gotta black eye and a split lip, and plus I've got to explain to my dad when he gets home why I got in a fight at school today. Oh, yeah, and the prick got the gym teacher to think that I started the fight, so I got detention for it tomorrow. So much for justice, huh?
It just pisses me off. Its just not fair, y'know? Not like in the animal kingdom, man. If things were just like that, I'd just rip his throat out, and take Cara for my own. Not that I want to kill the guy, I'm not psychotic or anything, just...y'know, the animal world is a lot more brutal with fewer worries. Like high school-fuckin'-politics.
Prick.
-Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
Holy shit, I can't believe it. I got a dog. It’s unreal, because we live in an apartment, me and Mom, and so I'm not aloud to have a dog, rules of the place. But I guess mom talked the landlord into it or something, because when I came home from school today, there it was! Well, she, there SHE was.
Man, she is beautiful. Some kind of wolf-huskie mix, I think. Mom won't tell me where she got her, but I think one of the caretakers gave her to mom. He has a huskie, and he lets her run with the wolves sometimes, the tamer ones anyway...and she's a girl huskie, so I guess its not too far fetched that maybe she got lucky one night and pups followed.
She is so beautiful, though. Her fur is all solid white. If she were in the snow, man, she'd be invisible. I dunno how that happened, and she has these amazing blue eyes. I can already tell that she is going to be huge, though. She's really cute right now, but give it a year and...wow, I don't even want to think about it.
Bear was a big dog, a rot, but he is back in Nebraska, chasing deer and rabbits. Living the good life. It kind of stinks that I have to keep her cooped up in this place, but I'll have to take her to the park and stuff. Mom said she was my responsibility, but I mean, really, like I can't handle animals. I'm friggin' Doctor Dolittle back at the Zoo, ask anybody!
I think I'm going to name her Aura. Because of her white fur, she just seems to glow like she has one. I know it’s cheesy, but she is my dog and I can name her what ever I want to, so hah!
Man o'man this is great! She's tugging at my pants leg right now! So fuckin' awesome. Won't be so much fun to potty train her, but it'll probably be easy enough, she has smart blood in her.
Hmmm. Smart blood. Maybe I could teach her to be an attack dog. I mean, nothing brutal, but maybe just teach her an attack command? Yeah, that'd be sweet, then I could just point and say the word and she'd bite the balls off that dick-head bastard that floored me in gym. And girls LOVE dogs, too, especially cute little puppies like Aura is. You're going to just solve all my problems, aren’t ya, girl?
-Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
My Dad died last night.
He was clearing out a spot for his new garage with his chainsaw, and the chain just snapped. It cut his throat...almost cut his head off.
Mom's taking it really well I guess. She hasn't been crying all that much, but I think I hear her at night. She is trying to be strong for me.
See, Dad and me were real close. Honestly, I'm still numb from the news. It hasn't really hit me yet, I just feel cold. I thought that maybe writing about it would help. Help dig it out.
I wonder what happened to Bear? I wonder if he went and got help, or if he was there when it happened. He probably was, he didn't leave Dad's side. Kind of like Aura here. She's sitting at my feet right now, here at my desk. She is growing so fast.
I don't think this is helping. School sucks, and my Dad died. Life sucks.
-Lance
Dear Diary,
The funeral was today. It wasn't so bad, I guess. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
Dad looked nice, but it was fake. He would never wear a suit like that, and plus they shaved him. Dad never shaved. He looked just like one of those rugged mountain men you always read about or see in those movies. He taught me everything I knew about the woods and surviving on my own. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't love nature like I do, or love animals like I do.
They fixed him up really good, you couldn't even make out the line across his neck, but I knew it was there.
Mom cried a lot today. She just couldn't handle it. I cried once, when I seen him laying there. I just couldn't believe he was gone, and seeing him like that...I just lost it. I ran out of the funeral home and I just cried and cried. I know what you're thinking; a 17 year old bawling like a baby. But I loved my Dad, and I'm never getting him back. I just sat outside the home and cried and cried. I don't know how, but Aura got out of the car somehow, and she nuzzled me and tried her best to lick my fact; I think she was trying to wipe my tears away, but I know she just wanted the salt.
Mom is talking about moving back to Nebraska. We have a lot of family there, and though Mom and Dad were divorced, Dad's side always loved us to death. I really don't care if we move or not. I don't care what happens anymore.
-Lance
Dear Diary,
Tonight is the big night. Everything is ready. All me and mom are doing now are waiting for the movers to get here, and after they pack everything up, it'll be up, up, and away.
I can't say I'll miss anything here. The only thing worth remembering about this place is Aura, and I get to take her with me. Well, I'll miss the zoo a lot. I made some good friends there, but I'm sure the people who work there will take good care of them. Not like there arn't a lot of animals in Nebraska to befriend. Aw, who am I kidding; the woods are no zoo.
What really sucks is that I'll have to redo my senior year at another school, because the credits won't transfer. I'm half tempted to just quit, but my Dad would kill me if I did that. I mean...he would have killed me. I still can't believe he is gone. I really miss him.
Man, Aura is barking like crazy in the living room. It sounds like some kind of riot or something is happening down the street. Just as well. My life is going to hell, why shouldn't everyone else’s?
Maybe I will quit school. I'll run off, me and Aura, take to the road. Like in that book, 'My side of the mountain', I'll just live in the woods, and I'll hunt for my food and make a house out of a tree...heh, yeah right.
Man, that noise is getting closer, and I think I hear mom calling for me. Aura is still going nuts. I better go see what she wants.
-Lance
Man, I feel like such a geek writing that. Not that it really matters. You're a diary, and that’s what I'm going to call you. I'll be damned if I give you some kind of name. Then I'll feel even more crazy.
The councilor at school told my mom that it would be a good idea if I kept a journal, but I knew what it meant. A diary. No one remembers a journal. Like that Anne Frank chick. It was a diary, remember? No shame there, but then she was a chick. I'm a guy. I guess that’s the difference.
Anyway, I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. If for some reason this is ever read by people 50 years from now after some crazy war, I guess they'll want to know who I am and shit. Plus, if I write about myself, the councilor says I might figure some things out about myself. Look, buddy, I think I'd be the one knowing about myself here, right? Right.
So, my name's Lance. I've gotta write in this damned thing because I don't have any friends. That's the long and short of it, anyway. Doc says I'm anti-social, but thats not the truth. The truth is, I tried to make friends, back when I was a freshman. People made fun of me, and I don't forget things like that. Once bitten, twice shy, y'know? Besides, they are all just a bunch of preppy pop-icon wanna-be's anyway. No soul there, just a bunch of designer clothes over moving parts.
And besides, they are wrong about me not having friends. I have a job at the zoo. You're going to think I'm crazy, but a lot of the animals are my friend. They don't talk to me or anything, but I feel like they understand me. Wolves don't judge you by what you wear, right? They can see through all that false stuff. Its the same way with all animals. They can see right in your soul. One time, I actually sneaked into the bears den, and just watched them sleep. One of them woke up, and I kinda smiled at it, y'know, real nervous and stuff, and I swear it winked at me and went back to sleep!
Now you're sure I'm crazy, right? Well, tough. You're my diary, and if I have to put up with this stupid crap, then I'm taking you down with me.
On the bright side, though, I turn 18 in a couple of weeks. Doesn't mean too much. Got no friends for a party, and I don't really care for all the noise. I'm more of an outdoors person, really, which doesn't fit Chicago very much, huh? That’s the reason I work at the zoo so much...its the only wilderness I can find for a long ways away. Before we lived here...I mean, before I had to move in with my Mom, I lived with my Dad back in Nebraska. We were all back in the woods for miles...I really miss that. I had a pet, a dog; Bear. I miss him, y'know?
Hell, look at all this crap. I've been writing for like an hour now. I didn't think I'd write that much. I'll be damned if it’s working, whatever it is. I don't feel any different, anyway.
Sincerly,
Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
Don’t' let anyone fool you, man; high school sucks. I had the worst day of my life today. I mean it just completely blew monkey chunks! Of all the days in all the world of all of my life, this is going to go down in the history books as the worst one. Ever!
So last year I got creamed in gym, right? I was a real shrimp, skinny and all that with glasses and all. I got picked on a lot because I didn't talk to anyone and blah blah blah. Bunch of losers anyway, not like I want to be accepted by them. Anyway, I get a job last summer at the zoo, and the scrawny part goes away. I mean, between you and me, elephant shit doesn't move itself, and I'll tell you first hand, that stuff ain't light.
So the job gives me some extra cash, and I get rid of my goggles and get contacts, just because I want them. I'm not trying to fit in or anything, alright? I just wanted contacts. So, anyway, I failed gym that year because I stopped participating in class, and so this year I have to take it again. I'm not too worried, though, because I'm actually kinda cut and I got a nice tan from the summer job, so I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, y'know? I can have a chance to put those numbskulls in their place, and show'em that you don't have to be perfect to dribble a ball and put it in a hoop. It started off right enough, but it all went wrong, man. Wrong wrong wrong.
There's this girl. Her name is Cara. Man, she's really amazing, too. Smart, and nice, and she's beautiful, too. Just perfect. So, anyway, she's in my gym class, and there I am playing basket ball with the other guys. I'm skins, and I look good, man, I'm one of the only cats there with abs that you can actually see. And I know she's watching us play, cause she has an excuse to sit out.
I'm not that good at basketball, but I try like hell to impress her. I pass the ball, I steal the thing, I know people over...whatever I have to do. It’s looking good, right, but then her boyfriend starts getting jealous and shit. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend, the fucker. So he's playing on the shirts, and he see's how I'm always looking at her to see if she's watching, and so he just tackles me. Dirty son of a bitch, cause I'm not even expecting it, and before I know it I'm on my back and he's just beating the hell out of me, and he's just knocking me senseless, man, and she's watching the entire time.
The worst part? He's on the football team, and he's popular as all hell, so if I try to get him back, I'm just going to get it worse. It's already going to be bad now, and I guess I don't need to make it worse. It's not fair! She deserves a lot better than that spoiled prick, with his rich parents and name brand cloths.
Yeah, so today sucked balls. Gotta black eye and a split lip, and plus I've got to explain to my dad when he gets home why I got in a fight at school today. Oh, yeah, and the prick got the gym teacher to think that I started the fight, so I got detention for it tomorrow. So much for justice, huh?
It just pisses me off. Its just not fair, y'know? Not like in the animal kingdom, man. If things were just like that, I'd just rip his throat out, and take Cara for my own. Not that I want to kill the guy, I'm not psychotic or anything, just...y'know, the animal world is a lot more brutal with fewer worries. Like high school-fuckin'-politics.
Prick.
-Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
Holy shit, I can't believe it. I got a dog. It’s unreal, because we live in an apartment, me and Mom, and so I'm not aloud to have a dog, rules of the place. But I guess mom talked the landlord into it or something, because when I came home from school today, there it was! Well, she, there SHE was.
Man, she is beautiful. Some kind of wolf-huskie mix, I think. Mom won't tell me where she got her, but I think one of the caretakers gave her to mom. He has a huskie, and he lets her run with the wolves sometimes, the tamer ones anyway...and she's a girl huskie, so I guess its not too far fetched that maybe she got lucky one night and pups followed.
She is so beautiful, though. Her fur is all solid white. If she were in the snow, man, she'd be invisible. I dunno how that happened, and she has these amazing blue eyes. I can already tell that she is going to be huge, though. She's really cute right now, but give it a year and...wow, I don't even want to think about it.
Bear was a big dog, a rot, but he is back in Nebraska, chasing deer and rabbits. Living the good life. It kind of stinks that I have to keep her cooped up in this place, but I'll have to take her to the park and stuff. Mom said she was my responsibility, but I mean, really, like I can't handle animals. I'm friggin' Doctor Dolittle back at the Zoo, ask anybody!
I think I'm going to name her Aura. Because of her white fur, she just seems to glow like she has one. I know it’s cheesy, but she is my dog and I can name her what ever I want to, so hah!
Man o'man this is great! She's tugging at my pants leg right now! So fuckin' awesome. Won't be so much fun to potty train her, but it'll probably be easy enough, she has smart blood in her.
Hmmm. Smart blood. Maybe I could teach her to be an attack dog. I mean, nothing brutal, but maybe just teach her an attack command? Yeah, that'd be sweet, then I could just point and say the word and she'd bite the balls off that dick-head bastard that floored me in gym. And girls LOVE dogs, too, especially cute little puppies like Aura is. You're going to just solve all my problems, aren’t ya, girl?
-Lance Gears
Dear Diary,
My Dad died last night.
He was clearing out a spot for his new garage with his chainsaw, and the chain just snapped. It cut his throat...almost cut his head off.
Mom's taking it really well I guess. She hasn't been crying all that much, but I think I hear her at night. She is trying to be strong for me.
See, Dad and me were real close. Honestly, I'm still numb from the news. It hasn't really hit me yet, I just feel cold. I thought that maybe writing about it would help. Help dig it out.
I wonder what happened to Bear? I wonder if he went and got help, or if he was there when it happened. He probably was, he didn't leave Dad's side. Kind of like Aura here. She's sitting at my feet right now, here at my desk. She is growing so fast.
I don't think this is helping. School sucks, and my Dad died. Life sucks.
-Lance
Dear Diary,
The funeral was today. It wasn't so bad, I guess. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
Dad looked nice, but it was fake. He would never wear a suit like that, and plus they shaved him. Dad never shaved. He looked just like one of those rugged mountain men you always read about or see in those movies. He taught me everything I knew about the woods and surviving on my own. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't love nature like I do, or love animals like I do.
They fixed him up really good, you couldn't even make out the line across his neck, but I knew it was there.
Mom cried a lot today. She just couldn't handle it. I cried once, when I seen him laying there. I just couldn't believe he was gone, and seeing him like that...I just lost it. I ran out of the funeral home and I just cried and cried. I know what you're thinking; a 17 year old bawling like a baby. But I loved my Dad, and I'm never getting him back. I just sat outside the home and cried and cried. I don't know how, but Aura got out of the car somehow, and she nuzzled me and tried her best to lick my fact; I think she was trying to wipe my tears away, but I know she just wanted the salt.
Mom is talking about moving back to Nebraska. We have a lot of family there, and though Mom and Dad were divorced, Dad's side always loved us to death. I really don't care if we move or not. I don't care what happens anymore.
-Lance
Dear Diary,
Tonight is the big night. Everything is ready. All me and mom are doing now are waiting for the movers to get here, and after they pack everything up, it'll be up, up, and away.
I can't say I'll miss anything here. The only thing worth remembering about this place is Aura, and I get to take her with me. Well, I'll miss the zoo a lot. I made some good friends there, but I'm sure the people who work there will take good care of them. Not like there arn't a lot of animals in Nebraska to befriend. Aw, who am I kidding; the woods are no zoo.
What really sucks is that I'll have to redo my senior year at another school, because the credits won't transfer. I'm half tempted to just quit, but my Dad would kill me if I did that. I mean...he would have killed me. I still can't believe he is gone. I really miss him.
Man, Aura is barking like crazy in the living room. It sounds like some kind of riot or something is happening down the street. Just as well. My life is going to hell, why shouldn't everyone else’s?
Maybe I will quit school. I'll run off, me and Aura, take to the road. Like in that book, 'My side of the mountain', I'll just live in the woods, and I'll hunt for my food and make a house out of a tree...heh, yeah right.
Man, that noise is getting closer, and I think I hear mom calling for me. Aura is still going nuts. I better go see what she wants.
-Lance